When asked, people, even Christians, would say "love" is a need. "I can't live without him." Love means a personality match. "We just click, you know, it's not just attraction, it's that as people, we connect really well." Love is physical attraction. "Okay, it's not all about how she looks but I don't think I could honestly be interested in someone who's not at least somewhat attractive." Love is happiness. Love is ... you get the idea. All of these things are good and honestly quite practical. But we can't forget the essence of love. And we most certainly should not get swept up in emotions and forget that love is not about us.
In all these examples, we see how "I need him," "I connect with him," "I like the way he looks," "I feel happy with him." Love becomes all about me. But that is a very inaccurate statement. Love, by example, ought to be rooted in selflessness.
Personally, I've at times heard this before but really thought about it in a new way. I shouldn't like someone just because he's the perfect guy: he's a strong Christian, he's an ESTJ (for the shamefully non-educated viewers, click here to learn more), he's smart but not too much smarter than me, he's mature, he doesn't melt from the pressure of meeting my family, he's nice to look at, he's 6' even, he's not a coffee-addict (okay, now I'm getting into the pathetic nitty-gritty details but you get the point). Although these are important for a successful marriage, they may not be the most important aspects of love. Instead, I should think, can I give up my life for this guy (John 15:13)? Can I sacrifice for him? Do I see his life as more important than my own?
Wow. That's not how my mind naturally tracked. Culture has pushed my own sinful brain even further down a track away from God's view. We should be thinking about others first. What will that person benefit from this relationship? Am I Mr/Miss Right for her/him? Or am I just on the hunt for the perfect woman/man for myself? It's a matter of changing our entire outlook on life. We ought put others' lives in front of our own. Sacrifice means selflessness. Selflessness means love.
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001371.cfm
